WHAT WILL THEY SAY !!!!!

Society is funny…they ask you to be yourself and then they judge you…..

Part of society thinks I should maintain my ‘round’ figure because it’s a sign of good health, while the other part of society feel that I’m just not good enough to fit in, unless I join a gym and lose a few kilos..

I’m accepted by some and rejected by others… which way do I go?

Basically, If you are skinny, you are anorexic,

If you are even slightly overweight, you are obese,

If you are a virgin, you are good,

If you are a ‘non – virgin’, you are bad,

If you are friendly, you are a fake,

If you are quiet, you are rude….

Society is never pleased.

 

Where exactly is this handbook that tells you how to be perfect?

Perfection comes from within ourselves. It’s how we feel in our own skin and the ability to show it to the world.

 Confidence is a beauty most people lack. We step out into the world with a painted mask, seldom do we allow the world to see the real person behind the mask. The reason is fear. We fear the way people might judge us for the way we look, or dress.

We tend to work long hours to keep up an appearance that society wants to see. We accumulate more debt in order to live the lifestyle we cannot afford.

Our bodies and wallets are screaming out for a ‘time out’, but our egos and pride need to keep up with the Joneses and to let the world know that “we have arrived”

We allow Society to dictate the ‘do’s and don’ts of our lives, to the extent that we can’t tell what really makes us happy anymore…

 

 

Marilyn Manson rightly quoted:

“we live in a society of victimisation, where people are much more comfortable being victimised than actually standing up for themselves”…..

Bending to society’s unspoken rule is a form of victimisation. Not being able to be who you want to be, is a form of victimisation….

 

“IF YOUR JOY IS DERIVED FROM WHAT SOCIETY THINKS OF YOU, YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED” —–MADONNA—-

HALAAL

AS REQUESTED…BY SOME NON BLOGGERS…AT SIBANYEGOLD…:):):)

SENSE OF RUMOR

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Nee, nie uit die yskas GEHAAL nie..

The word HALAAL is often misinterpreted by the misinformed or should I say ill informed.

Amongst a hundred other things Muslims are branded for, “Halaal” is one of the most commonly misunderstood practices. It is usually joked about, laughed at, and at times, even feared. This would really be funny if it was not so serious.

“Halaal” is the Arabic term for “lawful or permissible” And “Haraam” is simply the opposite (that which is not permissible or lawful, e.g: pork).

Any animal, except a pig, is only acceptable to consume if it is slaughtered according to Islamic law.

“These prohibited foods and ingredients are called haram, meaning forbidden in Arabic. Foods that are not halal for Muslims to consume as per various Qurʼanic verses are:

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In A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY

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………………..in a land far far away, lived a beautiful queen, with her handsome King and their two beautiful princesses…

After selecting the perfect outfit for the day, (and there were hundreds to select from), the queen would stroll down to the dining hall, where the finest breakfast would be laid out in all it’s  splendour.

The two little princesses were always dressed and well groomed in their finest attire, enjoying their healthy breakfasts without any fuss. No strange faces were made at the food in front of them, or rolling of eyes when the cereal was served, no no no

The king, after instructing the coachman to prepare the royal chariot for a day out, would join his family at the breakfast table. Voices were not raised, tempers were not lost, and food was never spilled.

The king and queen would indulge in meaningful adult conversation, which was never interrupted by children with ‘children’s questions’

The nanny would ensure that the princesses were ready and waiting for when it was time to leave.

With, not a hair out of place, and with a sweet smile on their faces, the princesses would merrily chat to each other while waiting for their parents. Again, no raised voices here, no insults thrown at each other and definitely no comments made about how the one thinks the other looks like a dog…no, no no, these were real obedient little princesses..

The king and queen appear, hand in hand, ready for a fun filled day ahead. No stress here, no running around looking for lost wallets and misplaced bags and shoes, the king was ever so patient.

Everyone steadily gets into the royal coach, without any stomping of feet, or trampling on dresses.

The two princesses happily share the one story book between the two of them. still, no bickering here, or angry tones, no kicking seats, or slamming doors….all is peaceful.

A long trip into the town square, where mother chooses cute little frilly dresses for her princesses..again i have to add…no tantrums here, every dress mother chooses is received with squeals of laughter and joy…the princesses are overwhelmed with the matching pink dresses mother chooses.

The girls wait patiently as mother decides if she should add little jewellery to match the dresses. All are happy and skip away joyfully as father escorts them into the next store.

The king is happy and overjoyed to accompany his queen on this delightful trip into town. He offers to carry the many shoe boxes and other knick knacks the queen desires….still, absolutely no tempers have flared or profanity uttered…all is well…

After a quick 5 hour shopping spree, they return home, where the servants unpack and hang up all the day’s shopping.

The family then settles down to a quite dinner, with healthy veggies and fruit for dessert. Some even ask for more broccoli….

The princesses are then put to bed and fall off to sleep almost immediately.

The king and queen enjoy tea and biscuits while discussing their plans for the next day..

 

Alas, as I said, “ in a land far far away…..so far away, nobody even remembers the name……….

“once upon a time” because it only happened once….

And then they all lived H̶a̶p̶p̶i̶l̶y̶  ever after………………….

TOXIC BEHAVIOURS THAT PUSH PEOPLE AWAY

We sometimes wonder why friendships have ended or why we don’t socialise as much as before…could it be that one of these toxic behaviours are pushing people away???

 

ENVY

Envy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. You will never be able to appreciate the things you have, if you keep crying over what you don’t have. Envy/jealousy, Is a waste of time and not worth losing a friendship over.

TOO SENSITIVE

……it’s difficult being around people who take everything personally. People who feel like the world is out to get them.

VICTIM MENTALITY

…we all have the ability to change what we don’t like…stop playing victim all the time, and either take a stance or keep it to yourself…nobody likes being around a “cry baby” all the time…

UNABLE TO GET OVER PAIN AND LOSS

…although this is definitely one of the most difficult situations to get over in your life, it can be done. Pain is like a summer storm, it can be calm and serene one moment, and then, without warning, the skies can open up and it pours.  You need to fight hard to let go of the pain, but part of it will always remain with you. That’s the part we need to control, so that we do not push people away…

NEGATIVITY

…the worst person to be around is a negative person. Yes, this world is full of negative events that take place every day,,,but if we spend too much time focusing only on the negative, we miss out on all the beautiful positive things around us….including our friends who are too afraid to be happy in front of us…

CONSTANTLY JUDGING OTHERS

…..”only look down on a person if you are helping them up”

None of us have the right to judge a person until we have walked a mile in his shoe. Yet, we are too quick to do just the opposite of that….judge them today, and you will judge me tomorrow…people don’t want to be around people like that.

LIES

…..hurt me with the truth, but don’t comfort me with lies… you can’t expect people to connect with you if you can’t connect with yourself. Lying to yourself only makes it more difficult for others to get to know the real you..

SEEKING CONSTANT PRAISE AND ATTENTION

…………I don’t need to “like” every picture of yourself you post on social networks, and that’s okay. You don’t need people to constantly tell you how pretty and awesome you are… expecting praise all the time will eventually distance you from people who really like the real you.

 

UNAPPRECIATIVE

….. The constant complainer who has everything yet nothing. The one who does not notice what his friends DON’T have, but complains about what he still needs.  Always asking for more, but never grateful for what he already has…

 

None of us are perfect, we each have a quality deep within us, that has the power to destroy beautiful relationships.

Recognising toxic behaviours and changing it, will definitely ensure your circle of friendship grows bigger….awareness is the key…

IT’S HARD TO SAY GOODBYE

 

God saw you were getting tired, and a cure was not meant to be

So he put his arms around you, and whispered come with me

With tearful eyes we watched you, as we saw you pass away

Although we love you deeply, we could not make you stay

Your golden heart stopped beating,

hard working hands at rest

God broke our hearts to prove to us… He only takes the best

How do you make peace with the realisation that you will never hear that person’s voice again, or hear them laugh, or just the thought of not being able to call them or send them a simple text.

We take so much for granted, and the thought of death is easiest to forget and even more easier to ignore.

We all know that Death is inevitable, yet, it still has the power to shake us out of our senses when it happens to someone close. Even when death is expected in a sick person, it comes as a blow when it actually happens.

Maybe it’s God’s way of reminding us not to take everything for granted. This life is only temporary. We enter life empty handed and we leave with nothing, except with approximately 2 metres of cotton material used as our shroud (according to Islamic procedure)

We are so busy “gathering” life’s luxuries, that we seldom remember, that our final resting place is not big enough to accommodate everything we love so much.

 

Myths and facts about grief

MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

MYTH: Grief should last about a year.

Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.

Source: Center for Grief and Healing

“THE TALK”

So, I’ve finally managed to have ‘the talk’ with my kids. It was tense and very awkward, but it had to be done. I think every parent dreads talking about it, but someday, u have to have the talk. NO not THAT one, the other one..

I’m talking about the ‘D’ Word – DEATH…

As morose or morbid as it sounds, it still needs to be addressed. I was inspired to write this after hearing about an accident that left both parents dead, survived by two young children, 8 and 10 years of age. The family is yet to decide where the children will be living and if they would need to be separated. Very ,very sad, indeed.

In my humble opinion, I feel parents should sit their kids down and have a not so intense conversation about death, and what happens if parents are not around anymore. Where would they go? Which family member will they live with? which schools they might go to, etc etc

For most people, this topic is definitely taboo. They feel that children should not be exposed to the darker side of life.

Personally speaking, I wish someone had warned me or at least prepared me for what was in store.

I lost my parents at an early age, and my brother and I had to move in with family. The disruption of our lives, the changes that were taking place so fast and the fact that we didn’t have enough time to grieve for our parents was devastating.

As a young child, you feel lost and confused. First you lose your parents, then you are taken away from everything familiar to you, your home, toys, friends, etc..

It’s amazing how resilient and understanding a young child can be. We try to shield our kids from topics like this, but, they  are much stronger than most adults.

To avoid shock, and confusion, which may lead to other issues later in life, it is best advised to sit your kids down and reassure them about their future (should you not be in it).

I think I may have made it sound more exciting than it actually is, when I told my kids that they will live with their favourite aunt if something has to happen to both of us, because, instead of looking sad and worried, (which I expected), they seemed to be more excited at the possibility of living with their cousins…and ‘hanging out’.

Which proves my point even further. Kids don’t think about the future, and won’t know how to react when something happens. This is life and we need to prepare our children for it.

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HOW TO BULLY THAT BULLY WHO WON’T STOP BULLYING

So, I’ve put super glue on the inside handle of the toilet door, smeared Vaseline on the toilet seat, replaced the hand wash with cooking oil, and splattered some on the floor for extra effect. Now I’m just going to wait patiently until I hear her shriek. Ohhh the sweet sound of revenge.

My chance to exact revenge on that big fat bully who just won’t stop bullying everyone. It’s time she had a taste of what it feels like. Maybe now she’ll understand what it feels like to be embarrassed and how it feels to be picked on every day.

Yes, it’s time to stand up to her, and her taunts, insults, snide remarks and evil, conniving ways. No more being yelled at and shoved around. THIS IS IT.

This is for all the times I had to hang my head in shame because of one of her tactics, or when she made me look incompetent when she took credit for my report, and that time, when I stupidly fell for her tricks and she laughed so hard and made sure everyone heard about it.Picture2

Well, MISSY, Not anymore, THIS IS IT.. you are going Down, You are going to regret ever picking on me, and after today, you will be so scared that you will never ever disrespect me ever again..

What’s taking her so long, where is she? I can’t wait to hear her scream for help.

It’s going to be so funny to see her trying to get the glue off her hands, or maybe they’ll have to surgically separate the door handle from her hand….and that little oil spill on the floor, is sure to send her into a little tail spin,,,, THIS IS IT…Bwahahahahahahahahaha,,,oh what fun….Picture12

 

GASP! Wait a second!! What have I done? What if the glue is so effective and they have to remove part of her hand or what if she slips on the oil and hits her head on the wash basin and has to be rushed to the emergency room, and ends up with permanent brain damage…..OMW

I race into the bathroom and clean up the ‘deadly trap’.. THIS IS NOT IT…This is not who I am..

I will not be the reason for someone else’s pain.

This revenge thing is not good. Spending hours thinking of ways to hurt the person who hurt you, will only turn you into the bully you are trying to avoid.

The only way you can exact revenge is if you become a bully yourself. I don’t think the world is ready for anymore bullies.

Every minute you waste thinking about how to take revenge on your bully only helps him become stronger and he wins.

Accept the fact that you also had a part in allowing this behaviour. So maybe it’s time to stand up and say “ENOUGH”…..Because we all have a chance to change our situations, if you don’t, then it’s not victimisation or bullying anymore, it’s self- inflicted.

 

“Nobody has the right to make you feel inferior, without your consent”Picture1

THAT WORD AGAIN !!

BY: TASMIYAH EBRAHIM

We live in an advanced world created by advanced, intelligent people. people have been to the moon and back, robots are becoming part of our daily lives, smart phones tell us how to eat healthily and how much exercise we need, we build tall buildings, manufacture smart cars which are able to park themselves, we have smart, intelligent devices, which do smart, intelligent things,  yet we still need to be reminded that racism is not smart, nor intelligent.

Why do we still hear words like ‘racism, racist, anti racism, etc etc…these words should not even be uttered anymore. Racism should’ve been killed and buried a long time ago, yet it still rears its ugly head every now and then.

Why are we even still promoting ‘anti racism’, shouldn’t we, be now living in harmony with each other? Why do we need to remind people to be ‘anti racist’?

 “Hating people because of their colour is wrong. And it doesn’t matter which colour does the hating, it is just plain wrong” – Muhammad Ali –

 In these days of crime, corruption and dishonesty and so many other things that are wrong with this world, we should concern ourselves more with being ‘anti everything else wrong in this world’, Instead of hanging onto the one thing that brings the most attention to south africa. 

The human race is not a race to see whose race is the best race,,,it is about being human.

The only race that should be hated is the one you have to run…

There is no need for me to quote Mandela, Malcolm X, or any other freedom fighter, because I don’t see why someone has to ‘tell’ you not to be racist. we are not born with racism, we are taught racism.

  

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 Nobody reminded us to be racist, so no one needs to remind us to be anti racist,,,it all starts within ourselves….it’s a choice you make. So, what kind of person will you choose to be today?

 ‘In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends” – Martin Luther King Jr –

uʍop UPSIDE sı pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ

I’m almost sure I am upside down. I have somehow managed to turn on my head because from my point of view, I can see everything upside down, so I’m quite sure I’ve been turned around.

Things don’t look so good from this side up.

I see 5 year old kids with smarter phones than their parents (although, just the sight of a 5 year old with a phone is disturbing enough)

Empty streets, because children are afraid to play outside,

Prison – like homes, because people feel safer behind bars

Murder, robbery, rape, hijackings have become the norm,

Little girls dancing like the devil is in them

Violent videos

Parents afraid of disciplining their children, In fear of creating a low self-esteem in their children

Married men and women are more in demand than singles out there

Breastfeeding in public – I know I’m going to be sentenced to death for this one. I’m not against you feeding your baby in public, it’s just the manner in which it is done. “HAYA” an islamic word, when translated means modesty, shyness, self-respect, bashfulness, shame, honor, humility, etc….every women should have HAYA, It’s what separates us from men.

Many women feed their babies in public and still manage to draw the least amount of attention to themselves, so why start now? What is the purpose of creating so much awareness. Feed your baby, do it modestly, cover up. There’s no need to tarnish this beautiful act between a mother and child.

Many will disagree with me, but it is what it is.

I thought I was lying upside down, that I had managed to turn myself around somehow, but I realise now, it’s not me who is upside down,

THIS WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN

THE POET IN ME

Roses are red

Violets are blue

My love for u, is…strong…

Err, my love for you, is….pure…

Wait a second,,,I got this.

My love for you is…not wrong…….

 

Okay, let me try another one….

 

Your eyes are like diamonds, so bright and shiny,

The stars in the sky are also shiny, and bright..

Your face is like the moon, i’m not sure why,

Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhh,

let’s just forget this…I’m hopeless, even when I try…

 

As you can see, poetry is best left to the experts.

The art of writing what your heart is hiding, is poetry. It’s passionate, emotional and heart-wrenching. It talks for you when your heart struggles to understand the world. It can open up old wounds, and can also heal a broken heart.

So, after some convincing, begging and pleading, I managed to get my loved ones to allow me to share some of their work…much respect and appreciation for these guys.

rish

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