THE PUN TIMES
22 Sept 2016
In the Times today
BREAKING NEWS !
Fire breaks out in Shoe Factory west of the city, thousands of Soles were lost. The community has shown their support every step of the way. Further steps are being taken to apprehend the suspects. Authorities have confirmed that they are hot on the heels of the suspected arsonists.
Meanwhile , on Sunday evening, a 35 Year old man accidently swallowed food colouring. Doctors have confirmed that he is in a stable condition, but the man says he feels like he has dyed a little bit on the inside.
Further North of Johannesburg, a construction worker was involved in a freak accident over the weekend, where the entire left side of his body was cut off, but he’s believed to be all right now…
In more pressing matters, the brain transplant of a 40 year old woman which was scheduled for this Wednesday was suddenly called off, It appears the woman changed her mind.
And closer to home, Protestors take to the street armed with cans of soda, which they hurled at pedestrians. Police say they were thankful it was a soft drink, or matters could’ve been much worse.
Meanwhile the community is in shock over the arrest of two kids yesterday by police. One was drinking battery acid and the other was was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off.
Further afield in the Cape, a Man was arrested ealier today after he stole a clock from a local store and tried to eat it. Authorities say it was a waste of time to detain him. Angry Shop owner says he wont wait another second for justice to be served.
Meanwhile, a Calendar factory admits to firing employee, after he took a day off. If taken to court, he may get 6 months.
Moving onto sports news,
Local Soccer midfielder wonders why the soccer ball was getting bigger, and then it hit him.
He had to be carried off the field, but was not happy. he said he felt side lined.
In other news making headlines
Kite manufacturers have designed a stringless kite for the youth of today, but sponsors are adamant that their idea won’t fly.
And to wrap up.
A local businessman tried to sell a recently published book titled “TOP TEN PUNS TO MAKE YOU LAUGH”,
But sadly No pun in ten did.