THE PUN TIMES – 23 Sept 2016

THE PUN TIMES 

http://www.punoflife.cc.zz                                                                                

 22 Sept 2016

In the Times today

BREAKING NEWS !

Fire breaks out in Shoe Factory west of the city, thousands of Soles were lost. The community has shown their support every step of the way. Further steps are being taken to apprehend the suspects. Authorities have confirmed that they are hot on the heels of the suspected arsonists.

Meanwhile , on Sunday evening, a 35 Year old man accidently swallowed food colouring. Doctors have confirmed that he is in a stable condition, but the man says  he feels like he has dyed a little bit on the inside.

Further North of Johannesburg, a construction worker was involved in a freak accident over the weekend, where the entire left side of his body was cut off, but he’s believed to be all right now…

In more pressing matters, the brain transplant of a 40 year old woman which was scheduled for this Wednesday was suddenly called off, It appears the woman changed her mind.

And closer to home, Protestors take to the street armed with cans of soda, which they hurled at pedestrians. Police say they were thankful it was a soft drink, or matters could’ve been much worse.

Meanwhile the community is in shock over the arrest of two kids yesterday by police. One was drinking battery acid and the other was was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off.

Further afield in the Cape, a Man was arrested ealier today after he stole a clock from a local store and tried to eat it. Authorities say it was a waste of time to detain him. Angry Shop owner says he wont wait another second for justice to be served.

Meanwhile, a Calendar factory admits to firing employee, after he took a day off.  If taken to court, he may get 6 months.

Moving onto sports news,

Local Soccer midfielder wonders why the soccer ball was getting bigger, and then it hit him.

He had to be carried off the field, but was not happy. he said he felt side lined.

In other news making headlines

Kite manufacturers have designed a stringless kite for the youth of today, but sponsors are adamant that their idea won’t fly.

And to wrap up.

A local businessman tried to sell a recently published book titled “TOP TEN PUNS TO MAKE YOU LAUGH”,

But sadly No pun in ten did.

 

MY DAY JOB VS MY DREAM JOB

I’m using my day job to save up to buy an Island,,,,

SENSE OF RUMOR

I have the most amazing job. I get to work a little before 9 every day, my coffee is waiting on my desk (my desk, by the way, is in front of a huge glass window facing the most awesome view) My work related emails have already been answered to by my assistant, only personal emails await me, skype is ready and on the go. I have a lunch date scheduled with my bestie, after which, an extended break to do a bit of shopping and then back to the office. More email (personal stuff)…after an hour of laughter (brought on by the personal email)… I need to really take a break.

I Take a 15 minute chat break in the break room, where I meet other hard working colleagues, and where we are able to share the latest tv series watched.

I Get back to my office, and I…

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