FOR MEN ONLY………….

Do u think it’s ‘unmanly’ for men to show their sensitive side?

 

We were brought up in a society where men were seen as the strong, hardworking ‘never take a day off’ guy. So, filing and buffering your nails were never part of the plan. ‘calloused hands were a sign of a hardworker’

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Whichever way I put this, it will no doubt, attract lots of cynicism, laughter and silly jokes, because most men are not comfortable admitting that they do enjoy ‘letting their hair down’ sometimes. The occasional ‘chick flick’,  a well – deserved manicure, shopping and maybe, even that big bowl of ice – cream when the world turns cruel doesn’t sound so bad sometimes, but you will never hear a man admit this. It is often seen as a sign of weakness and unmanliness. 

Why would you assume that your friend is any lesser of a man because he keeps his nails well – manicured. I don’t mean, “shiny, glossy’ kinda manicured….just clean, neat, well cut nails. Why is that a bad thing?

 Truth be told, men do have this secret desire to take care of themselves. They also don’t mind the tear jerker movie once in a while, because it makes them feel human and not like they need to be on guard all the time taking care of us and protecting us from the big bad world.    

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I’m not crying, there’s something in my eye !!!

  NEWSFLASH: Being Meticulous about your grooming and appearance does not make you any lesser of a man…and neither is it about being gay or girly it’s about taking care of yourself..

 

 So go ahead, be a man, and use those nice smelling shower gels, indulge yourself with that ‘grapefruit and honey’ facial scrub, and feel free to buffer those nails and trim those nose hairs…. I DARE YOU !!!

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TO SHAKE HANDS, OR, NOT TO SHAKE HANDS…THAT IS THE QUESTION

Being a Muslim woman and having to work in an environment which is largely male dominated, I find myself being challenged on various issues on a daily basis. While I view most of the challenges as a stepping stone, there is one that often leaves me red faced when I try to explain myself to the other person. It’s the famous “why don’t Muslim women shake hands?” question.

And when I try to explain my reasons for not shaking hands with men, I only end up sounding totally pompous or ‘better than thou’…. 

So, before I confuse you anymore, l have included an article by one of my guest writers, Zohra Dhooma, who explains it quite simply and to the point.

This is just a brief explanation, a more detailed article will soon appear in her “soon to be” blog…u just have to watch this space…….

 

“WHY DON’T WOMEN SHAKE HANDS IN ISLAM” – ZOHRA DHOOMA

As per Islamic Law a Muslim woman is forbidden from having any interaction with any strange men. This is the Order and Decree of God Almighty himself.

The only men she is allowed to interact with are her Maharam’s: this is a man whom she cannot marry e.g.: her father, brother, paternal uncles, maternal uncles, nephews and husband.

This being said it is important to note that interaction for work purposes is allowed but there should be no “touching” or speaking in soft provocative tones. Interaction with men should be kept to an absolute minimum.

This means no hand-shakes no buddy punches and of course no hugs. (No matter how sad the circumstances might be)

As harsh as this might sound there is of course a lot of logic and method in this ruling:

1)      Above all the reasoning it is forbidden by Allah (SWA) God Almighty.

2)      It is to guard the chastity of the woman.

3)      This serves to protect the women. She might be have the cleanest of intentions but she will never know what the man on the other end of the hand-shake is thinking or feeling.

4)      Woman are beautiful no doubt about that and there is always the possibility that a single hand shake is never far from disaster.

 

There is a narration that goes to this effect that a lady once came to the Prophet (SWA) and wanted to pledge allegiance. She sat on the one side of the curtain and the Prophet (SWA) sat on the other.  When she was about to pledge her allegiance she extended her hand through the curtain (her hands were not adorned with mendi (henna) and the Prophet (SWA) did not take her hand but advised her to colour her hands in order that she may be recognised as a woman.

Two lessons:

1)      A man as great and pure as the Prophet (SWA) did not take a woman’s hand into his own serves to show us the seriousness of this simple action

2)      A woman should adorn her hands with Mendi/Henna so that she might be recognised as a woman. (It’s a Sunnah)

VALENTINES…….HELLENTINES

DID U EVER STOP TO THINK WHO STANDS TO GAIN THE MOST LOVE ON VALENTINE’S DAY?????

I’VE NEVER BEEN ONE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY, EVEN WAY BEFORE THE COMMERCIALISATION STARTED, BUT IT’S A DAY THAT’S HARD TO IGNORE..AND NOT FOR THE REASONS YOU ARE THINKING. LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT…

IT ALL STARTS ABOUT A MONTH BEFORE VALENTINE’S DAY, EACH TIME I WALK INTO A SHOP, I’M BOMBARDED BY RED AND WHITE ALL OVER THE PLACE, ENOUGH TO MAKE A PERSON DIZZY.

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YOU CANNOT PICK UP A LOAF OF BREAD WITHOUT BEING REMINDED OF VALENTINE’S DAY. EVEN THOSE WHO ARE NOT IN RELATIONSHIPS, GET SO CONFUSED, AND END UP BUYING SOMETHING RED AND FLUFFY, (MOST LIKELY WITH THE BREAD MONEY), TO GIVE TO SOMEONE THEY ARE “HOPING” TO MEET. PERSONALLY, I THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER TO JUST WAIT FOR THE DAY AFTER VALENTINE’S, AND YOU’LL BE ABLE TO EASILY AFFORD THOSE EXPENSIVE CHOCOLATES AT HALF THE ‘VALENTINE’ PRICE, AND YOU’LL EVEN HAVE CHANGE LEFT OVER FOR THAT LOAF OF BREAD…

MOST PEOPLE CELEBRATE VALENTINE’S DAY, BECAUSE THEY ARE TOLD TO….BY HUNDREDS OF ADVERTISEMENTS, AND RETAILERS WHO CONVINCE U THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SHOW YOUR TRUE LOVE IS TO BUY THE MOST EXPENSIVE AND MEANINGLESS GIFT.

IN THE REAL WORLD, I THINK PEOPLE WOULD TRULY AND HONESTLY PREFER TO STAY INDOORS WITH THEIR LOVED ONE OVER A QUIET DINNER, AND SOME MUCH NEEDED QUALITY TIME.

INSTEAD WE FIND PEOPLE SCURRYING AROUND LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT GIFT OR TRYING TO MAKE RESERVATIONS AT AN EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT, OFTEN WITH MONEY BORROWED OR WHICH THEY HAVE BEEN SAVING FOR THE LAST 3 MONTHS. PANIC SETS IN AS THEY STRESS ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR, WHICH RESTAURANT TO BOOK ETC ETC…..WHY DOES LOVE HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED???

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IS IT FAIR? IS IT REALLY FAIR TO COMMERCIALISE EVERYTHING? TO RAISE PRICES ON ORDINARY GOODS WHICH ARE ALREADY WAY OVER PRICED. DID YOU KNOW, VALENTINE’S DAY IS THE MOST LUCRATIVE TIME OF YEAR, AFTER CHRISTMAS, FOR RETAILERS…..

LOVE SHOULD NOT HAVE A PRICE TAG……..AND VALENTINES SHOULD NOT BE A DAY OF REGRET NOR SHOULD IT BE LIMITED TO ONLY ONE DAY TO EXPRESS OUR LOVE. WE GET A NEW OPPORTUNITY EVERYDAY TO TELL OUR LOVED ONES HOW MUCH WE LOVE THEM, SO WHY WAIT FOR VALENTIN’ES DAY?

BECAUSE THE ONLY PERSON SMILING AFTER VALENTINE’S DAY IS THE GUY WHO SOLD YOU THE R20.00 TEDDY BEAR FOR R200.00

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