EXAGGERATION !!!!!!!

I’ve been running this in my head over a million times, and I still can’t figure out why people exaggerate. It is the most annoying habit in the world.

I could just pull out my hair in frustration.

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So the other day, my 9 year old casually announces to me that she has a project due for the next day..”THE NEXT DAY????????????????” It’s 20:00, We just got finished with homework, dinner, bath, packing bags, making lunches, etc. My favourite soapy just started, I’m about to finally sit back and relax, and NOW U HAVE A PROJECT DUE FOR TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!

I do a quick check, and realise I only need the normal basic “Project” stuff, like, glue, cardboard, glitter, colour pencils, scissors, ruler, plastic pockets, cellotape, gel pens, and the rest of the stationery shop. And as life would have it, these items suddenly disappear from my house. It was here yesterday, but now it’s gone.

Did I tell you about the two mysterious people living in my house, “SOMEBODY” and “NOBODY”…Somebody did it and Nobody knows who…

So now I have to make a quick dash to the nearest Spar…(thank Goodness for the 24 hr Spar)

I grab my keys and purse and don’t even bother getting out of my bedroom slippers. I drive at the speed of lightning and hope beyond hope that the traffic lights don’t get me.

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I manage to screech my way into the nearest parking, the one closest to the door…in a flash I’m in the store, picking up stuff like it was ‘an end of range’ sale.

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I spot a paypoint that doesn’t have a queue as long as a mile.

A million items later, I get to the pay point, and the assistant seems to be working in slow motion, even her jaws seem to be moving in slow motion as she chews her gum…Picture1

 

While She gradually scans each item, she keeps taking mini breaks to say something to her friend in the next isle. She is unable to multi task, so this requires her to stop scanning for a few seconds while she laughs at something her friend said…

She then aggressively says “PLASTIK”,,,,

‘No thank you, I’ll just carry all this in my arms, and if I walk really slowly, I’ll be able to balance the scissors and glue stick on my head” OFF COURSE I WANT A PLASTIC…..GRRRRRRRR……but instead, I said, ‘yes please’

I Jump into my car and was just about to screech out of the parking lot, when this guy with a vehicle as big as an elephant, decides to park so close to me, that I would be unable to reverse without scratching his car.

I tried calling him as he continued to walk off..but he just waved and said he’ll only be 5 minutes,,,and that’s when I lost all control and got off my car, grabbed the first things I could get my hands on,,,which was the glue, scissors and glitter,, I walked to the front of his car and used the scissors to scratch deep lines on the hood , and then I continued to pour glue over the scratches and then fill it up with some bright pink glitter…that will teach him…

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Just then I heard a hoot and looked up to see the driver pulling away and waving goodbye….

I was still sitting in my car with the glue and scissors in my hand….OHHHH IF ONLY I WAS AS BRAVE AS MY IMAGINATION…well, he’s just lucky that he took only 5 minutes, or else I was almost going to get out of the car and damage his car.

I raced home, threw everything on the kitchen table and very hastily started on the project.

After two hours of cutting, pasting, colouring and labelling, we were finally finished.

Although tired as a dog, I was glad we completed the project. All that was left, was to attach the instructions given by teacher to the back of the project…..and that’s when I saw it….

Due date, was next week Tuesday

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH

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