Ever notice how some people are able to pass judgement about someone without blinking an eye (until they find themselves in a similar situation)
It saddens me, to have to witness, intelligent, educated adults behave in this way. Too often people have ‘expert knowledge’ about the other person’s situation, without actually knowing all the facts.
Unfortunately I have had the misfortune of being in the company of certain individuals who bad mouthed the divorced woman and had so many theories about why she got divorced, and how she brought it upon herself. How can we pass judgement without knowing both sides of the story (not that it should be any of our business in the first place).
I chose to talk about the divorced Woman instead of the divorced man deliberately, because society has already made up their minds that it was definitely the woman who failed in the marriage.
It takes two to make or break a marriage. While the woman may have had her faults and contributed to the failure of the marriage, the husband is also equally responsible. Both sides have contributed some kind of negativity in the marriage for it to reach divorce.
My argument is, why does the woman have to live with the stigma of divorce. She looks down when she passes people on the street, she is made to feel uncomfortable in the presence of other couples (that’s if she is ever invited to any of their social events), she has to deal with stares and whispers from others the moment she tries to have any fun. Suddenly she is excluded from almost everything. Other women become more protective of their husbands (yes, I just found this out. A recently divorced friend called to ask me if she could visit. I found this amusing and wanted to know since when does she need to call and ask permission to visit. She explained to me how our other “friends” only invite her over when their husbands are not around. At first I was amused, and then it made me sick to my stomach. Are we really so insecure in our own relationships?
Divorced men are able to go on with their lives as normal, they still get invited by their friends, and are able to walk proud on the street (even if he was the guilty party in the marriage)
Society tends to brush it off lightly when it comes to men. Why does the woman become the Pariah? I once overheard a ridiculous comment about how the wife was to blame for the failed marriage, because she did not support him enough when he was out of a job. It was her fault that he became depressed and all he could do was sit on the couch and watch tv the whole day, while thinking about how to get a job.. (while she was out working), her nagging him about making an effort to get out of the house and look for a job, resulted in the failure of the marriage. How AWEFUL!!
Irrespective of who was at fault in the marriage, I strongly feel that we as society, should change our archaic way of thinking, and stop labelling people. If you can’t help them fix their problems, then don’t add to it.
“YOUR VALUE DOESN’T DECREASE BASED ON SOMEONE’S INABILITY TO SEE YOUR WORTH”