So I get to school bright and early, don’t want to be late. I put my bag down and take my seat. Today I will not allow my head to be filled with any thoughts of fighting with anyone, or hitting anyone, or screaming, kicking, or hurting anyone in any way. I plan to be on my best behaviour.

The lesson starts, I try to concentrate, but there are too many disruptions. I close my eyes, and wait for the next 15 minutes to pass by,,,open my eyes again, and it’s only been 30 seconds…

An hour after class has started, my head is pounding, my eyes are bloodshot red, my ears are ringing with the screaming and noise, I can barely hear my own thoughts. I feel like feigning a tummy ache and cutting class early today,,,trying to work out the distance from my desk to the door and how long before anyone notices I’m gone,,,just then I hear tiny little voices screaming my name…”teacher ,teacher, I need to go to the bathroom”…..

Aaaaaarghhhhh  I almost got away


Discipline starts at school… wait…the last time I checked, discipline starts at home. Growing up, we were taught how to respect others, older or younger than us, that our teacher was our second parent and what teacher says is “law”. Punishment given by the teacher would be doubled at home if we complained. Teachers, even when disliked, were always respected.

We survived ‘corporal punishment’, and grew up to be normal citizens, without the help of therapists and psycho analysts.

Kids these days spend more time with their therapists than they do in a library.

Corporal punishment is not the death penalty. While I definitely DO NOT support or encourage child abuse in any way, I personally think that there should be some level of discipline in the schools.

Our teachers were not allowed to hit us on any part of our bodies, except on the palm of our hands with a ruler. The mere sight of the ruler would send shivers up our spines. We were never physically abused in any way, but being aware of that ruler was enough for us to be quiet when teacher spoke.

I have witnessed and learned that teaching is by far the most difficult profession in South Africa currently. Hats off to all teachers for trying to make a difference, especially since you’ve been sent to war without any weapons.

People often say “bring back the death penalty”,,I say, if we “bring back discipline” in the schools, there would be no need to bring back the death penalty. Kids will be well adjusted and will actually learn something in school because teachers would not be shouting all the time or trying to avoid being hit with a chair by a student.







‘I don’t take pics with girls who wear weaves’

2015-04-19 15:00 CITY PRESS


Legendary trumpeter Hugh Masekela caused a stir at Rhodes University when he refused to take pictures with girls donning weaves or hair extensions.

“You’re lucky that you were sneaky enough to have him take a picture of you next to me, otherwise I would have refused. I don’t take pictures with girls who have your kind of hair,” Masekela told a student who had taken a picture with him, according to student journalist Sanele Ntshingana.

Masekela also railed against weaves and hair extensions at a press conference.

“We spend about a billion rand on other people’s hair each year. I don’t even know where to begin on this issue,” said Masekela, who was at the university to receive an honorary doctorate.

Masekela, who was given a standing ovation, delivered an address which focused on his disdain for the youth’s dwindling sense of heritage. Among his issues were indigenous languages, storytelling and music, but his position on hair was perhaps the most provocative.

Masekela was described by some audience members as being “irritable” and “condescending”, while others appreciated his direct approach. On the subject of student activism and the removal of colonial statues, Masekela was dismissive, saying that the youth should focus on “bigger problems”, like poverty, inequality and crime.

The honorary doctorate from Rhodes University is the fourth such honour for Masekela.

I recently stumbled upon the above article, and I must admit, that I was mildly annoyed/saddened by the views of our much loved and respected Mr Hugh Masekela. If he’s not going to take pictures with girls who wear weaves because of the billions spent on them, then I’m afraid he’s going to have to strike off many people from his list, like those who spend on designer jeans and takkies, or even those who spend a lot on food, which usually ends up in the bin, not to mention many other industries where billions are being spent in a year.

I acknowledge the current crisis in the world and I empathise with each and every person going through hardship, I also recognise and fulfil my responsibility as a fellow human being and I contribute as much as I can where I can, and I TOTALLY agree that we should not be spending billions of rands on beauty while people are suffering, but I would also like to take a look at the other side of the coin.

I have to admit, like many people out there (men and women) I thrive on looking good while going about everyday life. While I do not spend thousands of rands on my hair or clothing, I will spend a fair amount on making myself presentable.

There are millions of women who spend tons of money on make- up and clothing. Does this mean we should snub them for looking good and dressing well?

My personal opinion is that black women are being “exploited” when it comes to their hair. It’s not fair to blame them for wanting to look good, (although I must admit, most women are just as beautiful naturally). But it doesn’t hurt to add a little Pizazz to our looks.

Unfortunately distributors/suppliers/manufacturers are using this to their advantage and are charging ridiculous amounts of money for their product, knowing that women don’t have much choice but to purchase their products.

The same can be said for women of other races, when it comes to “enhancing their beauty”. Most white women spend a lot of money on nails and make-up, some Indian women spend money on laser treatments, or the latest diet.

We are always looking for ways to look better. This is not wrong. However, it is wrong when we start to obsess and go to the extreme and spend ridiculous amounts of money on products, face lifts, etc

(I digress, I know) but, on the flip side of the coin, we as women, also contribute to the “exploitation” of other women. We tend to bring down our sisters for wearing something that is of a cheaper quality (no matter how good it looks, but if it’s from the ‘CHINESE SHOPS” and God forbid, if that weave is synthetic and not genuine, it’s like the worst sin you can commit )

I believe you should purchase an item because it looks good, not because of it’s price tag. Often I hear women give a compliment and then ask “where did you buy it from, and how much was it?” unless you also want one, how does the price tag or name of retailer matter, it does not change the way it looks.

We should stop competing with each other and criticising each other, instead we should help build each other up, so there won’t be a need to spend Billions on hair pieces or designer shoes just to prove something to our friends.

This topic has got me worked up and as I write, I realise that I could go on forever regarding the statement in the above article.

Just because Weaves are most highlighted does not mean it’s the only thing which people spend billions on. I could list many non- essential items people spend money on. So I don’t think it’s fair to judge those whose only intention is to look good.




I think soccer should be fun and exciting and all about this…………….    

ss sw s

         okay, and maybe a little bit of this ……………..

sd                 sdf ws


 But why this??????????????

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Why do some men get so worked up about soccer? I’m not going to lessen the importance of the game by saying “it’s just a game”, because that is not true. Soccer for most people is like a religion. You get those pure die hard fans who have detailed knowledge of each player and can give you stats from the very first game played. They can even tell you the exact amount paid for a certain player and how many goals he scored in the last five years.

Each goal, penalty, red card, off side, and every decision taken by the referee is seen as a personal blow to the ardent die hard fan. Everyone gets a taste of the fan’s ire, including the manager of their team with comments like “Ferguson should sell Fletcher, he is useless”,

“how could he pay so much for this guy, aaargh @#$%?”…… “how difficult is it to find the back of the net,

@#$%&?”……and that’s how it goes for the next 90 minutes.

The adrenalin rush, the stress, anxiety and anticipation is heightened in the last 5 minutes of the game. Depends on who is winning, the last 5 minutes could be torture and seem like an hour or it could pass in a nail biting 5 seconds. And then it’s all over, just like that.

P.S, if your man’s team has won, then this would be the perfect opportunity to ask for those stunning heels you had your eye on, because you WILL get it.

And if they lost the match..,,,,just be quiet and agree with him about everything the coach did wrong, and how the referee was not fair, and how that should have been a goal, etc…

Also just to be safe, lock the cat up and give your kids earplugs and allow them to listen to very loud music for the next hour or so…….

Soccer is a passionate game, A game only a die Hard fan will appreciate. a game of highs and lows, where millions of people who don’t even speak the same language come together and for a brief moment are united by this nail biting, adrenalin pumping, edge of the seat, sport.

So enjoy this beautiful sport, but just remember,






People often find it easier to tear down everyone else’s building instead of building up their own.

it’s easy to talk about others in their absence. it gives one a sense of security and power for that moment.

often people with low self – esteem, and very little going on in their lives feel better about themselves when they judge other people. it gives them a false sense of security.

“when people can’t generate interesting discussions based on knowledge or ideas, gossip can rouse people’s interest. people gossip in order to hurt those whose popularity, talents, or lifestyle they envy”.

people gossip, when they don’t have much going on in their own lives, when they become envious of someone, in order to fit in, to get attention, or to feel superior. people who gossip in a group, are temporarily the group’s favourite and he/she is able to hold the attention of the group for a while. in order to stay in that clique, he/she will continuously look for new gossip to keep the group going. once they run out of stories, they tend to turn on each other.

“If you gossip TO me, you will gossip ABOUT me”…….it’s only a matter of time.


An old proverb tells the story of a person who repeated a rumor about a neighbor. Soon, the whole community had heard the rumor. Later, the person who spread the gossip learned that the rumor was untrue. He was very sorry and went to an elder in the community who had a reputation for great wisdom to seek advice. The elder told him, “Go to your home and take a feather pillow outside. Rip it open and scatter the feathers, then return to me tomorrow.” The man did as the elder had instructed.

The following day, he visited the elder. The elder said, “Go collect the feathers you scattered yesterday and bring them back to me.” The man went home and searched for the feathers, but the wind had carried them all away. Returning to the elder, he admitted, “I could find none of the feathers I scattered yesterday.” “You see,” said the elder, “it‘s easy to scatter the feathers but impossible to get them back.” So it is with gossip; it doesn’t take much to spread hurtful words, but once you do, you can never completely undo the damage. ‘



Gossip is not gossip ONLY if you are willing to say to the person’s face, what you say about him behind his back.

so the next time you hear it from the grapevine, rather take it, stomp it, and make some grape juice…(especially if it’s extra juicy)




A guilty pleasure is something u love doing, but feel guilty to do in front of others, because it’s not generally held in high regard. SO WHAT!!!! Live for yourself and do what makes you happy, enjoy those Pleasures, but don’t call them “Guilty”, because you know you looooove them….y


To list a few of mine :

 Uninterrupted sleep



Michael Bolton


Stalking people on facebook (just for fun, and to see who got fatter than me)


“Qayaamat se qayaamat tak” (only those in the know will know this, and those in the know, please stop rolling your eyes)


Gummi bears  (Gummi Bears, Bouncing here and there and everywhere. High adventure that’s beyond compare,They are the Gummi Bears) ..yeah baby, I know the lyrics too…..


Warm bubble bath with a book and good quality ear muffs (ear muffs to drown out the voices of needy kids and the book to smack them over the head if ever they manage to sneak in)


Shopping, midday, Alone


WHAM (If u remember, then u know why it’s on this list)


Googling my name


Googling YOUR name



I have the most amazing job. I get to work a little before 9 every day, my coffee is waiting on my desk (my desk, by the way, is in front of a huge glass window facing the most awesome view) My work related emails have already been answered to by my assistant, only personal emails await me, skype is ready and on the go. I have a lunch date scheduled with my bestie, after which, an extended break to do a bit of shopping and then back to the office. More email (personal stuff)…after an hour of laughter (brought on by the personal email)… I need to really take a break.

I Take a 15 minute chat break in the break room, where I meet other hard working colleagues, and where we are able to share the latest tv series watched.

I Get back to my office, and I really need a cup of coffee.

After a well – deserved coffee break,,,,well,,,,what do you know, it’s 16.00 already, time to go home. What a day!!!!!

Okay and now for my day job…………….

I get to my prison cell (oops, I mean my office) at 06:00 every day, I almost manage to put down my bag when the first needy person informs me of some life and death situation he is in, and that he needs my help immediately. While trying to “save” him, I dangle my phone between my ear and shoulder while trying to understand what the person on the other side of the line is screaming about.

My boss walks in and wants to know why I’m on the phone when he is trying to get hold of me “URGENTLY”

After demonstrating to my boss how to push the green start button on the photocopier, I get back to helping person number 4. Quick time check, 07:00, time for the first meeting, the start of many more hours in the boardroom. (now I know why it’s called a “boardroom”, it’s where I go to get “bored”)

In walks the chairperson with a steaming mug of coffee (hey, wait a minute, I remember that, I used to consume a lot of it at one stage, the aroma is bringing back memories)…

After two hours of the usual problems being pointed out to us, (with still no solutions in sight), I head back to my office. I almost make it in without anyone noticing, but as luck would have it, I was a split second too late, and my office started filling in like there was a ticket sale at Park Station.

I try to wipe a bead of sweat off my forehead, and notice the little reminder on the palm of my hand, “loo break”. I knew I was forgetting something.

One task down, only a hundred more to go.

Finally its 17:30, time to go home, well at least it was, an hour and a half ago.

With sore shoulders and aching feet I slowly make my way to my second, non -paying job, (motherhood)

Millions of us do this to ourselves on a daily basis. We find ourselves in a rut and are either unable to, or too scared to make a change.

I think we should start asking ourselves the question “how much is enough?” how much money do we really need in our lives to make us happy.

I’d rather earn less money and be happy, than to be miserable with lots of money. I know most of you will disagree, because ‘It’s better to cry in a Mercedes instead of on a bicycle, Right??….

“We will be more successful in all our endeavors if we can let go of the habit of running all the time, and take little pauses to relax and re-center ourselves. And we’ll also have a lot more joy in living”.

Thich Nhat Hanh

r            rr



f                 ff                           fff

Bad food is like that one crazy friend we all have, we know it’s bad for us, but we keep allowing it into our lives

We know we’ll quit one day, but it’s just too much fun for now. It’s funny how all the stuff in life that is bad for you, is so easily available.

I didn’t think about the importance of certain foods in our diets (I know it’s important, but didn’t spend much time thinking about it), until I realised my daughter had no idea what a brinjal (egg plant) was. She came across a picture in her life science book and wanted to know what fruit is this.

The convenience of easy, fast meal preparations, have made most of us lazy. It’s easier to throw some oven chips onto a tray and into the oven, rather than chop up veggies or slice brinjal, well at least, that’s what I thought, until recently.

Realisation hit me hard, right in the middle of my burger and fries, when I came across a post on Facebook . It was a recipe shared by a very dynamic and amazing friend, who just happens to be a super-talented vegetarian chef, Videhi Sivurusan. She recently won first prize in the national Expresso SABC 3/PnP Curry cook-off held at the Pick n Pay Good Food Studios in Sandton and also took first prize in the The Post Real Curry competition in 2009, among other awards.


Her amazing recipes have inspired me to incorporate more veggies in my menu plan, something that I would never have done before, because I thought it was a lot of hard work. Check out the following recipe, easy peasy…



Preparation time: 15 Minutes

Cooking time: 45 Minutes

Serves: 4 – 6

  • 1 large brinjal sliced
  • 2 potatoes, boiled and sliced into round pieces
  • 30 ml olive oil
  • 2 cups soya mince soaked in boiling water
  • 1 sprig curry leaves
  • 2 green chillies
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 1 tbsp coriander powder
  • ½ tbsp. cumin powder
  • 1 – 2 tsps mixed masala
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tin tomatoes
  • Handful chopped fresh flat leaved parsley
  • Handful chopped fresh coriander leaves
  • 1 cup grated cheddar cheese

White sauce:

  • 80g flour
  • 80g butter
  • 600ml fresh full cream milk
  • ¼ tsp nutmeg
  • Pinch of salt
  • 2 cups grated cheddar cheese

Let’s cook

  • Wash and slice brinjal into round pieces. Fry both sides in shallow oil, keep aside
  • Boil potatoes until slightly tender, slice and keep aside
  • In a pot, heat oil, add onions, curry leaves, chillies, cinnamon and bay leaves – fry until onions are translucent.
  • Drain soya mince, toss in along with coriander powder, cumin powder, mix masala and salt.
  • Cook for 5 – 6 minutes
  • Add tomatoes and cook through for 10 – 15 minutes. Toss in parsley and coriander leaves. Turn heat off and leave aside.
  • Pre heat oven at 180 oC
  • In a saucepan melt butter, stir in flour. Cook for a few seconds. Add milk stirring constantly until thickened. Add cheese, nutmeg and salt.
  • In an oven proof dish layer potatoes followed by soya mince then brinjal
  • Pour over white sauce and top with cheese. Bake for 20 – 25 minutes until cheese is golden brown.
  • Cool for 10 minutes before serving.

I just had to share this, because I don’t think it’s fair to keep it all to myself.

You can also catch Videhi on youtube:

Pick n Pay: Curry Competition Finalists

Brought to you by SABC 3 Expresso & Pick n Pay: Small Brinjal Curry (9.8.2013) by: Videhi Sivurusan zAaiT3Z2i69w

Pick n Pay : Spicy curried pasta (16.8.2013) by Videhi Sivurusan zAaiT3Z2i69w

Pick n Pay: Mixed vegetable medley (23.8.2013) by Videhi Sivurusan zAaiT3Z2i69w

Pick n Pay: Madumbi Fry (30.8.2013) by Videhi Sivurusan

Thank you Videhi for the inspiration.


Why do we lie? What makes us keep secrets? Is it fear, pride, or just an adrenaline rush? How do we get to that point in our lives where we become dishonest and secretive?


Keeping secrets and telling lies are no doubt bad, but does it make us bad people? I find it difficult to believe that people who tell lies and keep secrets are bad, there are many amazing, good people out there who tell lies and have secrets. So what is it exactly that drives us to this point?

Newton’s third law “for every action, there is an equal re action”. Could it be that we react to a situation where we feel so intimidated by the other person to the extent that we have to lie to them. Lack of open communication is probably one of the main reasons we lie.

How many times have we heard people say “I didn’t mean to lie”… so what exactly did you mean to do? You meant to not get caught, maybe.


Let’s face it, we all lie at some stage in our lives. (NOT, that it’s okay, but we all do it) so who’s going to cast the first stone????

I played the part of the tooth fairy very convincingly, until very recently. It’s not the same thing you say, but the fact is, I lied and misled someone. My thought on this topic is not so much about the fact that we are all liars, but more about why we do it. Why is it so difficult to say what we want to say. We lie by omission, we lie by exaggeration and we lie for self – protection.

We even lie most days when people ask how we doing, and we reply with the well rehearsed and over used phrase “I’m well, thank you”…yeah right.

There’s no rational explanation (not that I know of) as to why we lie. It’s an innate ability to cover the truth.

I can safely say, that if everyone spoke the absolute truth every day, there would be a lot more psychologists and counsellors out there, nursing wounded egos and hurt feelings. There are times when I certainly do not want to know “if these jeans make my butt look fat”…and so is the nature of the beast, we cannot handle the truth.

Lying is not okay unless it is used to make peace or for the betterment of the other person.


ps: if my kids are reading this, just remember lying is a very very bad thing. Each time you lie (especially to your mother), one strand of your hair turns grey. (note to self: pick up one box of dye on my way home)default



Well that’s just my idea. But wouldn’t it be nice if we could take a pic of those people who unashamedly urinate in public, or those who throw their trash around. We could then publish it in the local newspaper, under a column called “WALK OF SHAME” or something like that????

Too often I’ve come across men who urinate in public without any guilt or shame. I understand that nature does not have a specific time to call, but can u not find a more private place to relieve yourself? There are times when I noticed a tree or building not too far away , but still, this person would rather urinate as close to the road side as possible.

Littering is also another fast growing trend. While driving home from work last week, I had to swerve to avoid a KFC box and an almost empty can that was thrown out of the car in front of me. (tip: never use your wipers when you have Coke all over the windscreen, it just makes it worse)..

I recently caught my 9 year old throwing a piece of paper (no bigger than a matchbox size) out of the car window. We were in a residential area and I was able to stop and asked her to pick up the paper. She was quite embarrassed , and I could tell that she was wondering what the big fuss was about. So I explained to her that today it’s a small piece of paper and tomorrow it will be much bigger, (maybe a KFC box even, who knows). Even if she didn’t grasp the whole idea, at least she was embarrassed enough never to do it again.

Is it really that difficult to leave something in the same way that you found it? Would it kill you to stuff your atm slips into your pocket until you get home? Does your body not talk to you and let you know in advance that you need to use a toilet? NEWS FLASH, that’s what public toilets are there for.

In some countries there are fines issued for chewing gum or littering. We tend to mimic other countries in so many ways, so maybe we should start using their method of dealing with filth in our country.

Car guards should also have the added responsibility of “making” people pick up litter that they dropped. Or maybe we could create jobs for the unemployed, and pay them to control littering by being “litter police”. I would gladly pay for that.

As for the ones with the weak bladders, we should definitely take a picture (of his face) and post it to fb or the local newspaper. Once the defaulters are aware that people are taking action, I’m sure they’ll be able to find a toilet closest to them.

What do you think? Is this too drastic?

Share your ideas for a better South Africa. All good (and legal) ideas will be taken into consideration and hopefully we could start a campaign and bring awareness and solutions to these problems.

“I cannot be a proud South African until South Africa is proud of me”

DIVORCED!!!! Omg, what a shame!!

Ever notice how some people are able to pass judgement about someone without blinking an eye (until they find themselves in a similar situation)

It saddens me, to have to witness, intelligent, educated adults behave in this way. Too often people have ‘expert knowledge’ about the other person’s situation, without actually knowing all the facts.

Unfortunately I have had the misfortune of being in the company of certain individuals who bad mouthed the divorced woman and had so many theories about why she got divorced, and how she brought it upon herself. How can we pass judgement without knowing both sides of the story (not that it should be any of our business in the first place).

I chose to talk about the divorced Woman instead of the divorced man deliberately, because society has already made up their minds that it was definitely the woman who failed in the marriage.

It takes two to make or break a marriage. While the woman may have had her faults and contributed to the failure of the marriage, the husband is also equally responsible. Both sides have contributed some kind of negativity in the marriage for it to reach divorce.

My argument is, why does the woman have to live with the stigma of divorce. She looks down when she passes people on the street, she is made to feel uncomfortable in the presence of other couples (that’s if she is ever invited to any of their social events), she has to deal with stares and whispers from others the moment she tries to have any fun. Suddenly she is excluded from almost everything. Other women become more protective of their husbands (yes, I just found this out. A recently divorced friend called to ask me if she could visit. I found this amusing and wanted to know since when does she need to call and ask permission to visit. She explained to me how our other “friends” only invite her over when their husbands are not around. At first I was amused, and then it made me sick to my stomach. Are we really so insecure in our own relationships?

Divorced men are able to go on with their lives as normal, they still get invited by their friends, and are able to walk proud on the street (even if he was the guilty party in the marriage)

Society tends to brush it off lightly when it comes to men. Why does the woman become the Pariah? I once overheard a ridiculous comment about how the wife was to blame for the failed marriage, because she did not support him enough when he was out of a job. It was her fault that he became depressed and all he could do was sit on the couch and watch tv the whole day, while thinking about how to get a job.. (while she was out working), her nagging him about making an effort to get out of the house and look for a job, resulted in the failure of the marriage. How AWEFUL!!

Irrespective of who was at fault in the marriage, I strongly feel that we as society, should change our archaic way of thinking, and stop labelling people. If you can’t help them fix their problems, then don’t add to it.


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